Remembering Dad

On October 19th we celebrated Dad's life with friends and family.  It was a hard day for me and my siblings, but we were happy to see everyone who came to celebrate him (~100 people total).  We were thankful to have Michelle, who drove up from Lake Jackson, say a few words and to talk about hurting with hope.  I made a slide show with over 100 pictures of my dad and then my sister said his eulogy.   I am way too emotional of a person to even think about speaking during such an emotional time so Andy was kind enough to read my thoughts about my dad and his last year.  Here is what he read for me:

This past year was the hardest year I could have ever imagined.  Our family’s lives transformed in the blink of an eye.  Cancer is a horrible disease that caused my father months of pain and suffering.  In a blink of an eye it took all of his freedoms.  He went from being independent and proud to dependent on everyone for all of his basic needs.  He was the guy who prided himself for being able to provide for everyone else, so to see him in the reverse role was heart breaking. 

While I will never know the whys behind his cancer diagnosis, I do know that this awful disease brought my family innumerable blessings.  For each and every hard moment there was a matching blessing.  Prior to his diagnosis my dad lived on the road.  We saw him every 6 to 8 weeks at best.  Over the past 10 months I can count on one hand how many days I DID NOT spend with my dad.  God gave me 10 months with my daddy that I KNOW I would not have had otherwise.  He was able to spend time with my boys and become an important part of their life.  He was our life and we were his. 

While I never would have picked this way for his life to end, I can proudly say that I am thankful for his Cancer diagnosis.  God used cancer to bring my family together under one roof again – this is something that only God could have orchestrated!  In the beginning I always made an effort to point out how God was working in my dad’s life.  From the timing of his diagnosis, to timing of radiation, to how we were going to provide for his needs.  I reminded him how the entire time line had been intricately planned and that we were not in control.  In the last month of my dad’s life I was worrying about how I was going to handle a certain situation and it was my dad who told me, “It will all work out.  It always has.  We are not in control of this.”  At that moment it was him who reminded me of God’s faithfulness!

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for our family over this past year.  I know that it was through your prayers and God’s grace that we were able to face each day.  I miss my dad.  I miss him terribly.  Not even a year long battle with a horrible disease can prepare someone for the loss of a parent.  My heart is broken and our family seems incomplete.  I know that with time the pain will ease and I find comfort in knowing that I will see him again one day!

Man I miss him.  I love you Dad!