This past year was the hardest year I could have ever imagined. Our family’s lives transformed in the blink of an eye. Cancer is a horrible disease that caused my father months of pain and suffering. In a blink of an eye it took all of his freedoms. He went from being independent and proud to dependent on everyone for all of his basic needs. He was the guy who prided himself for being able to provide for everyone else, so to see him in the reverse role was heart breaking.
While I will never know the whys behind his cancer
diagnosis, I do know that this awful disease brought my family innumerable
blessings. For each and every hard
moment there was a matching blessing. Prior
to his diagnosis my dad lived on the road.
We saw him every 6 to 8 weeks at best.
Over the past 10 months I can count on one hand how many days I DID NOT
spend with my dad. God gave me 10 months
with my daddy that I KNOW I would not have had otherwise. He was able to spend time with my boys and
become an important part of their life.
He was our life and we were his.
While I never would have picked this way for his life to
end, I can proudly say that I am thankful for his Cancer diagnosis. God used cancer to bring my family together
under one roof again – this is something that only God could have
orchestrated! In the beginning I always
made an effort to point out how God was working in my dad’s life. From the timing of his diagnosis, to timing
of radiation, to how we were going to provide for his needs. I reminded him how the entire time line had
been intricately planned and that we were not in control. In the last month of my dad’s life I was
worrying about how I was going to handle a certain situation and it was my dad
who told me, “It will all work out. It
always has. We are not in control of
this.” At that moment it was him who
reminded me of God’s faithfulness!
Thank you to everyone who has prayed for our family over
this past year. I know that it was
through your prayers and God’s grace that we were able to face each day. I miss my dad. I miss him terribly. Not even a year long battle with a horrible
disease can prepare someone for the loss of a parent. My heart is broken and our family seems
incomplete. I know that with time the pain
will ease and I find comfort in knowing that I will see him again one day!
Man I miss him. I love you Dad!
